If you barely feel your body, that is usually protection rather than incapacity. Long-running tension turns perception down so you can keep going. You get it back through the outside: touch, temperature, movement and weight are easier to feel than an emotion. Outside in works. The other way round almost never does.
You know you have a body. You just barely notice it.
Someone asks how you are and you have no idea. Not because you would rather not say. There is simply little to find on the inside. You watch yourself going about your day as if standing slightly to one side of it.
That gets filed away as being out of touch with yourself. I want to offer you another reading, because there is a reason underneath.
Not feeling has been a solution
If too much came at you for too long, feeling less is a good move. It lets you get on with what has to be done. Your system turns perception down, exactly as it turns digestion down.
That it gets in the way now does not mean it was ever wrong. It means the situation has changed and the setting has not.
“Feeling less was once the cleverest solution available to you.”
Why starting on the inside does not work
Most advice begins with the question of what you feel. For someone who notices little, that is the hardest question there is. You are looking for something without knowing what it looks like, and nothing comes.
There is an easier way in. Your skin, your weight and your temperature are always there and they need no interpretation. Where does your back touch the chair. Where are your feet. Is your left hand warmer than your right.
Those questions have an answer, even when you feel nothing. And every answer is a small piece of contact.
What you meet along the way
For many people something comes back after a while that is not pleasant. Tiredness usually, sometimes sadness.
That looks like a sign it is going wrong and it is the opposite. What has been held off for a long time reports in once the door opens again. It settles on its own, as long as you do not try to fix it straight away.
The same goes for hunger. People who felt little for years often find hunger comes back first, and comes back strongly. That is not a new problem but an old signal getting through again. Eat accordingly; it calms down within a few weeks.
What does help
Start at your feet. Twice a day, ten seconds: where do they touch the ground, and do they feel warm or cool. Nothing more.
Use temperature. Cold water over your wrists, or a warm shower. That is the fastest way to feel something without having to search for it.
Move with attention rather than hard. Walking while noticing how your foot lands does more than a heavy session in which you overtake yourself again.
Leave the question of how you feel for now. Come first to what you notice. Feeling follows, and it follows more easily than you think.
Where is your body touching something right now? The chair, the floor, your clothes. Name three places. That is the whole exercise and it takes ten seconds.
The question that shifts everything
As long as you ask why you feel nothing, you are looking for a deficiency. Ask what do I notice, and there is always an answer. And that answer is the start of the way back.
Frequently asked questions
Am I extreme in this, or is it common?
It is far more common than people think, and it is rarely said out loud. Those who name it usually hear that others recognise it.
Why do I feel it when I exercise?
Because a strong signal gets through the dampening layer. That is pleasant and it is not a solution, because the contact goes as soon as the signal stops. Practising with gentle signals does more.
How long before I notice something?
Most people notice small things within two to four weeks: a cold foot, tension in a shoulder. That seems like little and it is exactly the beginning.
What if something comes up that frightens me?
Then go slower and find someone to go with you. This is not a race and nothing has to happen at once. With a history of trauma, guidance is wise.